Do I smell smoke?

Ever since I got married I have been waiting for the opportunity to make my husband brownies. Sam absolutely loves brownies. Although, his Mom and sister make excellent brownines and mine would obviously be coming from a box I was sure he'd appreciate the gesture. I got a brand new pan with square shapes so you don't even have to cut the brownies! "Brilliant," I thought as I put them in the oven. Now when my sweet Sammy is done with his homework he can have brownies and ice cream while he watches the game and I will be officially the best wife ever! I set the timer for half of the requirement so I could check on them and went about my wifely duties. He comes downstairs and asks if they are done. The timer had not gone off yet but I went to check. Smoke billowed out of the oven and I had to take them outside. :( They were beyond burnt. I wanted to scream! I have made brownies probably a zillion times in my life but of course the first time I make them for my husband I screw up. This is ridiculous! Now it will be one of those funny when we first got married stories but I am fully capable of making brownies. Later on when I brought the pan inside my pride wouldn't let me laugh as I watched Sam eat the middle out of one of the "bricks" as he put it. Stupid new fancy square thingy pan...I hate you!

My wedding day

Well it finally happened, the day every girl dreams about. My wedding day was so wonderful! Of course I will be reliving this day for the rest of my life but I wanted to blog the short version. I woke up after barely sleeping around 5am. I was supposed to be at my brother-in-law's house at eight so Gracie could do my hair. I don't know how I was late but I was. I was a little upset and on the verge of puking and/or crying. Then I noticed I forgot to put my engagement ring back on after I cleaned it. This sent me over the edge and I started bawling! All the ladies in Sam's family were trying to keep me calm. My wedding day was off to a less than perfect start so needless to say I was about to lose it at any minute. We made it to the temple, almost 30 minutes late. Everything that happened before the ceremony is a blurr. The poor old ladies thought I was going to pass out but I was just super stressed and anxious! What's with all the waiting? Let's get this show on the road!

The sealing was wonderful! My mission President, Elder Richard G Hinckley performed our sealing. He said his father said the key to a successful marriage was to be anxiously concerned about the happiness of your spouse. When someone asked his mother how she had a happy marriage she replied, "I lowered my standards." Everything he said was just perfect for Sam and I. It was so special! The family that introduced me to the church (most of them) were able to be in the sealing with me which made it even better. Ryan, who baptized me, was one of our witnesses and Sam's brother Felipe was the other. Now taking pictures afterwards, that was basically a nightmare. We love pictures and they are obviously important but trying to coordinate that many people is a big headache. Even though hundreds of pictures were taken there is not one with just Erica and I which makes me so upset. :( Once the pictures were over I was glad. Onto the party!

The ring ceremony was simple and I am so glad I decided to do that. My photographer, my brother Rusty, got lost so I had to rely on others for pictures of that. Then the reception. It was great! The caterers did a great job decorating and the food was amazing!! We ate and ate and ate! Then the cake was the best wedding cake I have ever tasted. Gracie gave a beautiful toast that made me cry. The first dance was the most romantic moment ever. Our song is Derrepente which means suddenly. Sam sent it to me when we first started dating. He said it described the way he felt about me. The dance with my dad was sooo hard. I was crying, he was crying, my mom and sister were crying, others thinking about their daughters were crying. There were tears in abundance just the way I had always pictured it. We danced to "My little girl" by Tim McGraw.

The DJ was so much fun and got the crowd involved as you can see from the pictures. The men all put on hats and danced to YMCA. My friend who was watching with me said, "I don't know what your dad is spelling but it's not YMCA." HA HA My poor dad and his short arms. The bouquet and garter toss went as expected. Some practically flew off the ground for it while others seemed ok with just letting it fall. After our limo was over ten minutes late and we walked through the farewell bubbles it was all over. We leaned back and Sam said, "Let's never do that again." To which I replied, "Deal!"

There was a few stressful times and a few embarrassing moments but those of y'all who know my family know it could have been a lot worse. I must say it was a perfect day. A perfect ending to a fairy tale courtship and a perfect beginning to my new life.

Bump and Curl

First, the phrase "bump and curl" makes me laugh. I must have heard it on a movie or something referring to an older lady was getting her hair done. Anyway, as my big day approaches I decided to get my hair trimmed and dyed so the color won't be so dull. Thanks to my girl Ali for hooking me up. Obviously it was only straight until I washed it but I loved it. Straight hair looks weird on me but it is so cool to have a change. Now, what my beloved Samuel did to his head is another story. He accidentally used the wrong settings on his trimmers and all his hair is gone. You may be thinking a BRIDEZILLA such as myself would have gone ballistic. All I could do was laugh! I knew everything would not go perfect so I guess I was waiting for something. On top of that, Erica and my future sister in law, Nancy both got highlites that they don't like and have to get them fixed. Sam sister text me tonight and said she was thinking about getting a trim but considering all the bad luck she would just come with split ends. LOL So my new rule is everyone stay away from the salons until after the wedding! Good thing Sam doesn't have a weird shaped head!

Those you left behind...

Those you left behind are still here. Some of them are so confused by what you did. One of them wakes up every night and reads the last letter you wrote him every day. He keeps it on his desk under his candy jar. I turned away when he tried to show me. One of them is angry that you gave up. She wonders where exactly you are and if you are really at peace. Some you left behind are still in shock while others aren't. The women talk about how handsome you were, the chip and dale thing comes up and we all giggle about it. One of them drives by the church everyday and wonders which side of the parking lot you were on. I wish I could drive past without thinking about it. One of them saw you in the mall and wishes she would have stop and talked to you. One of them can't let it go. One said the world was a better place when you were in it and I agreed. A few have said there were things they could have done and wonder if you'd still be here. One of them is milking it and others are mad about that. One of them mentioned your cologne and I can still smell it. One of them wishes he'd made you go on that trip with him. Most of them knew you were sad and now wonder just how sad you were. Some of them can't stop asking me about it. All of them believe you were meant for so much more and talked about your wasted talent.

One of them needed to blog about it.

So here I am trying to be done with this. I feel a little bruised. I wanted to tell your family how much you meant to me and how much you taught me but I couldn't get it out. I wanted a moment alone with you but couldn't get to you. I can't bare to think of how sad you must have been. I hope you are finally able to rest. :) I just imagined how you would smile at me. You know I just adored you. Some times I would ask you for help when I didn't need it just to have your attention. I'll always have a big grin when I think about you. Then again, maybe I won't. I'm so mad at you. I'm sad that this is my last memory of you. I hated that I had to be the one to tell everybody. I hate that they all came to me and asked me what happened. I hate that they all asked me why. I want to end this with a happy peaceful thought but that's not how you left me! I'll miss you.

"For all sad words of tongue of tongue or pen, the saddest are these 'It might have been."

-John Greenleaf Whittier