One Month

This month has been one exhausting blurr. I didn't think it would be this difficult. I was always told you sleep when the baby does and newborns sleep for most of the day so I had no idea I would still be so tired. I really can't sleep everytime he does. I can only sleep until around 11am but he doesn't sleep much past 5am. In the afternoon is when he starts to settle down but by that time I cannot go back to sleep. Everything is piling up on me! Bills, laundry, and housework. It is driving me crazy. Even with all the "help" I have I cannot stay on top of things. I have found with few exceptions that when people say they want to help what they mean is they want to take your baby and do the only thing you want to do. They want to feed him, and change him, and hold him and they want you to go away. Taking care of him is the only thing I want to do so it has been a little frustrating.

Sammy has officially met all his grandparents and all of his cousins. He has met all of his aunts and all of his uncles except Nano who is on a mission. Sam's brother who lives in Utah and his family were here for Thanksgiving. My Dad and Kathy came for the first week of December. Kathy actually made all the meals and did the dishes. That was really nice. It was so good to see my Dad and it warmed my heart to see him with Sammy. Then I had Erica here for almost two weeks! She did whatever I asked. If I wanted her to feed him, she did. If I wanted her to just make the bottle so I could feed him, she did. Sammy would always just stare at her and smile. It was so tender. Then my Mom, Ray, Natascha, and Rusty came for Christmas. That was a bit stressful because my Mom would get offended or be sarcastic when I would give her instructions for Sammy. Erica left this morning and Sam has his two days off. After that I will be on my own. I have no idea how I am going to get my wife stuff done when I am so tired.



On Christmas day Sammy was one month old. Our pediatrician, whom we love, said, "At about six weeks they turn into humans and you figure you might as well keep em." He is so funny and is such a great doctor! He is retirement age and only practices because he wants to. Like I said, we love him! He talks medical talk since he knows Sam understands so I always feel like I really know what is going on. He was really supportive when I was trying to breastfeed and understanding when everything I tried to increase my milk supply didn't work. We have called twice with concerns and he has seen us within half an hour of our call. His office is two blocks from our appartment so that is great! His one month check up went well. Sammy lost 11oz within the first week because of not getting enough to eat. The doctor put him on formula for premature babies and infants of low birth weight because it has extra calories. He now weighs 8lbs 4oz. He has chubby cheeks and his legs aren't so bony. This is a picture of him getting his Hep B shot. I wasn't holding him because the nurse told me to lay him down. When she gave him the shot his eyes got big and his arms and legs all went flailing! It scared him so bad the poor little guy.



He is starting to focus and follow things with his eyes. When I talk and smile he is starting to smile back. He sometimes laughs while he is a sleep and it is the cutest thing. I haven't learned all of his cues but sometimes I guess right the first time and that feels good. I think I have his "I'm starving cry" down pat. That cry and the needing to be changed cry are so similar. I love his other cry. The cry I hear most is for his physical needs, hungry, wet, or tired. I love the cry when he just wants to be held. It let's me know there is really a soul or a person there not just a pooping, eating, energy sucking machine. :)

Redneck Roots

My Dad called his brother to let the family know that Sammy had finally come. He called my Uncle Earl. He told him that we had named him Samuel James. My Uncle had a little too much to drink that day and said, "Samuel Adams...I know that." My Dad knew he was too drunk to argue so he decided to call him in a few days and make sure he got the name right. He spoke to his other brother on Sunday and found out my Uncle Earl had already spread the word. My Uncle Jason said, "So the baby's name is not Samuel Adams??" LOL So embarrasing but all I can do is laugh.

A Baby Story...the details

When I was in college I lived in the dorms of Belk Hall. Meghan was on the same floor as me. She watched TLC's A Baby Story every chance she got! lol Thus my title and here we go!

Tuesday, November 24, still no baby. I had a doctor appointment at 8:50am. I was going to go in there...scream...cry...who are we kidding I was gonna do both until someone agreed to induce me! I told my doctor how awful I felt and expressed my desire to be induced as soon as possible. He agreed to Friday November 26th. I was thrilled! So I had to have an ultrasound and a NST then the nurse would set everything up. Ultrasound showed that my fluid was a 7.7 but she said they were looking for it to be between 8 and 25. While I am waiting for the NST the doctor comes up to me. "Elizabeth, we want you to head over to the hospital." WHAT?! He began again, "Yes, go home and get your bag and go to the Hospital. They are expecting you." He repeated himself but it was like he wasn't speaking English. I was reaching for my phone so I could catch Sam before he started his surgeries. The doctor explained that my fluids were too low and he wanted to monitor me over night and induce me early Wednesday morning.

I called Sam and in as calm a voice as I could muster I said, "Sweetheart, the doctor wants me to go to the hospital." He sounded like someone had smacked him in the face! After I explained that I was not in labor we agreed to meet at the apartment and head over together. When Sam got home he ran around in a panic asking me a zillion question even though I had already explained that I had packed my bag weeks ago and wasn't forgetting anything. At last we were ready...well after Sam jumped out of the already moving car to double check that he had locked the door we were ready. When I got to the hospital they were expecting me but didn't know why. The doctor that was there was the one that did not want to induce me so I thought she was going to send me home. They gave me another ultrasound, this time the fluid levels read at a 5. So they gave me some medicine to start dialation and mild contractions. They were mild too, Sam and I watched TV and were very excited to watch the contractions on the monitor. "Ooh, that was a big one!" (Little did I know that it was NOT a big one!) After 10 hours they checked me. I had not dialated at all, not even a little. They would have to start again. I started to cry and my whole body ached! I had never had cramps for that long without taking medicine to stop the pain. They gave me another and said they'd check it in 8 hours. It fell out after 5 and they checked but there still wasn't the slightest change. They decided to give me the whopper drugs! These contractions felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. The nurse told me to take deep slow breaths but the pain was so bad I felt like I could not breath! After a few hours on that medcine they checked me and yet again...no change. I was too drained to even cry. I was immediately falling asleep after each contraction only to be ripped from sleep a minute later. The contractions were back to back. They had given me something to take the edge off of it but I finally heard those glorious words...epidural! The anesthesiologist came in and Sam held me while I got it because I had two contractions while he was giving it to me and wasn't supposed to move.

After it kicked in everyone around me started moving fast and talking even faster. The baby's heart rate and my heart rate both dropped after the epidural and before I could even ask I was being wheeled in for a c section. Everyone was in such a rush that it made me ask if I was going to be ok. As soon as I spoke someone would get calm and reassure me but with everyone else scrambling around them I didn't know what to think. I kept asking for Sam and they told me he was changing. When he got to my side he looked upset. I asked if he was ok and he shook his head no. I saw a couple of tears so I knew he was worried. "Ok we have a hand." Then I heard him cry which made me cry. Finally, he was here. It was the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

I wish I could say that everything was perfect from then on...it wasn't! I held Sammy for less than a minute and they took him. I told Sam to stay with him. So my baby and my husband were both gone. I was all alone. Then they moved me into a dark room where I sat for two hours. It was depressing. When I finally got back to my room I was so angry. Three different nurses were talking to me but none telling me what I wanted to hear. I just kept asking, "Where is my husband?! Can someone bring me my baby?!" Three hours after he was born sammy was finally in my arms. I only know of one friend that had a c section and I don't know how it compares to a normal delivery but I hated it. I could barely move. I couldn't get up on my own and couldn't even change Sammy's diapers for the first day. I just sat there as everyone walked around happy and pain free. It was really hard for me. They usually release you 3 days after a c section. The first thing I told my doctor was I wanted to go home. I got to go home a day earlier than usual. Now I am happy! Now I can change his diapers and now I can give him a bath. Every nurse and family member has an opinion but now that we are home I can do things the way I want. So I know I look like total crap because I sure as heck felt that way but this is our first picture together.

Dear Sammy

Dear Sammy,

I want to meet you already! I feel like I have been waiting forever! I asked Heavenly Father to please bring you to us safely as soon as you were ready. Are you as excited to meet us as we are to meet you? It isn't just your Daddy and I that are excited to meet you. All your Grandparents are calling non stop to see if you are on your way. Your Auntie Erica and I talk about you everyday. Your cousin Gracie points to my tummy and says, "Primo Pammy," which is cousin Sammy in Spanish but she isn't too good with her s sounds yet. Today the doctor put the monitor on my tummy and said, "Would you listen to that, it is just perfect!" He was talking about your heartbeat. I smiled so big my cheeks hurt for almost an hour afterwards. He doesn't want me to rush you because he said he wants everything to be safe and easy on you when you come. So no more pressure from me, I promise. Just know that as soon as you are ready, your Daddy and I will be here waiting.

Love, Mommy

Good kid!

In these hard economic times there are a lot of folks are out of work. It is sad and even a little scary. Some people are really trying to find work while others believe they are owed a handout. When Sam and I stopped to check the mail we saw this note with tear away strips with a phone number.



How precious is that?! I mean bless his heart he wants a job making $5 to $10 a week. It was just about the cutest thing I had ever seen! I can only assume this is the result of a loving parent teaching their son that if you want something you have to work for it. If it were up to me I would give him the $5 just for being so darn cute! I have to toughen up so I don't spoil my own kids!

Mr Ern wins the lottery!

Y'all know my Dad, Mr Ern! He is hard working and easy going. When referring to my Dad or before telling a story I usually say, "Bless his heart, he is such a bumpkin." LOL He is the classic country boy from the bayou. Growing up my Dad would pay bills at the kitchen table where he also would clip coupons. I never gave much thought to how hard it must have been raising two girls for him. I loved every minute of it! I loved coming and going through my teenage years with my Dad faithfully guarding his post...the couch! I loved letting the dishes pile up until he got mad enough to yell about it. I loved hearing his Cajun music blare when he was working on something in the garage. I loved yelling over the banister for him to go to bed when he'd fallen asleep and the TV was still on full blast after midnight. I even loved coming all the way downstairs to get him the remote that had ended up on the far side of the couch.

Anyway, my Dad used to grumble to himself as he paid bills and it is seriously one of my favorite memories of him. You'd repeatedly hear, "Aww sh** and Son of a bi***! The best was when he got something in the mail from Publisher's Clearing House because here is what you'd hear, "You lying sack of sh**!" If you were ever close enough to ask him what was wrong he'd tell you he was "gonna kick Ed Mcmahon's butt if he don't hand over my million dollars!" Well sadly he never got his million dollars.

Since Erica and I moved to Utah and then I got married and moved to California my Dad has been saying he needs to win the lottery so he can afford to come see us. Now that I am pregnant he keeps telling the guys at his work he has to win so he can go see his Grandbaby. Well, it came time to plan the trip and still no luck. They bought tickets to come visit the first week in December. I cannot wait to see him and to watch him hold Sammy.

I called him on Saturday and told him the update from the week by week book like I always do and he got all fired up talking about what he heard on the Glenn Beck show like he always does. Then he goes, "Oh I almost forgot to tell you, I finally won the lottery." That's right folks, Mr Ern had a $500 ticket which covers his $480 plane tickets to California. He didn't seem all that surprised because...as he said, "Well, I been tellin the boys at work I had to win the lottery to come see my Grandbaby." LOL

Final Inning!

Well, I never thought November would get here! Here it is the last week of October. I am 36 weeks pregnant and ready for to meet this little guy. I have the car seat installed, the hospital bag packed, and his room is all ready for him to come home. My insurance problems have basically been a nightmare so here I am at nine months switching to a new doctor who cannot see me until November 3rd. I haven't been to the doctor in 3 weeks but I am keeping track of all the times I feel the baby move. According to my book he should be turned by now and in position. I really want to go to the doctor just to make sure that he is ready to come or to figure out what can be done to get him ready. I hope y'all will keep me in your prayers during these last few weeks. I hope all my questions haven't driven you guys too crazy. Hopefully, one day I will have someone asking me so I can return the favor. Sam and I are so excited and nervous. Everyone asks us if we are ready and I guess we are as ready as you can be when you are on your first. Sam is terrified one of the nurses will run in during surgery and tell him I am in labor and he will mess up while he is trying to finish. I am hoping I go into labor while he is home. Anyway, I will keep you posted!

Winds of change...

"Well we're movin on up,To the east side.To a deluxe apartment in the sky.Movin on up,To the east side.We finally got a piece of the pie." Ha! Well, we finally found a new place to live. We are moving to Rancho Cucamonga on October 10th. We are not looking forward to packing, unpacking, or living within close proximity of others. What we are happy about is leaving behind this house, buying new furniture, and setting up the baby's room. Tomorrow I start packing, slowly but still hoping to get it all done in these next two weeks. Any tips or advice is welcome!

As for me, I am 32 weeks and so ready for this pregnancy to be over. Sam asked me if I wanted a side shot after we took the picture above. "Uhh, no thanks!" I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am tired but unable to sleep. I worry if I think the baby is moving too much and I worry when I notice he hasn't moved in awhile. I try not to get my hopes up that he will come early but that is not working too well. I think or day dream about him all day long. I wonder what I need to do to be a good Mom. Make myself notes of questions to ask and things I need to buy. I am hot all the time! I sleep with at least one fan on and I am flipping the covers on and off all night. I don't sleep well when I am hot but I also don't sleep well when I am uncovered. I avoid anything sad because when I start crying I cannot seem to stop. I am not working and am usually super bored during the day.

I read Twilight and soon I will read New Moon. I also have some Nicholas Sparks books that I can read. I really did like Twilight. All the people I talked to love this book and I have even met a few who really hate it. I found myself so excited to see what he'd say to her next that I would start skipping things. I could have sat and read it straight through but I spaced it out over three days because I didn't want to finish. LOL I just loved the tenderness of Bella and Edward's love story. Of course it made me think of all my favorite moments with Sam. It is an amazing thing to be in love. I am not sure if we are still considered newlyweds but I still want to be around Sam all the time. When I am not with him, I am thinking about him. I even got a new favorite moment from reading the book. Towards the end when Bella writes Edward the letter I started to cry. Sam came in from the other room concerned and asked me why I was crying. Those of you who know me can be a witness that I am very tender hearted. I cry all the time for happiness, sadness, and even anger or frustration. Anyway, just like my Dad or Erica, Sam always listens to why I am crying even if he thinks it is silly and gives me a hug. Sam usually gives a very dramatic, "Aww, my poor baby," that makes me laugh. Anyway, like a typical girl I love a good love story!

So we are moving and the baby is coming in a few weeks. I have all the crazy emotions like when I got married, you know when your life is about to change forever.

Falling off the wagon

Today I went to the address of a Motherhood store that I located online. I needed to get a few maternity items. When I show up it turned out to be a Babies R Us with a few racks of maternity clothes and no dressing rooms. What a joke! I looked through all the super cute Halloween costumes sort of wishing my little one would come early but at the same time thinking about next year. That led me other places in the store and I started seeing things I had never thought about getting before now. Oh I do need a changing table. Wow, I better make sure I get these safety plugs for the outlets. I have to have one of these mirror things for the car so I can peek at the baby in the back seat. "What to expect: The first year," I need that for sure. Now what was the name of that pillow Elissa said to get? I wish I had my notes from Lacey about dos and don'ts for the crib. What was that thing Meghan said worked good...a sleep sack? My head started to spin! Where are my friends? I miss my sister! I want my Mommy!!!! LOL Ok I was being dramatic on that last one. I sent text to Erica and some of the new mommies I know. Just like the true blue friends that they are they all reassured me. With the panic still in my system I decided to get some comfort food. I stopped at K-Mart and bought four bags of candy. The poor unsuspecting cashier, "Are you stocking up for Halloween?" I cut her my fiercest Ragin Cajun eyes and snapped, "NO! I am pregnant and don't know which candy I want!" Then I headed to the snack bar for nachos and an Icee. I had eaten most of the nachos, drank half of the icee, and ate four small Peppermint Patties before my tummy got mad at me. Then I sent Sam a warning text, "I am having a bad day!" After that I popped in a Disney movie and took a nap. Now I actually feel much better. I just wanted to document my falling off the fat girl wagon.

Prenatal Peek

I have been looking forward to getting one of these 3D ultrasounds since I first heard about them. It felt like I would never make it this far into my pregnancy but it is finally here! Sam and I went to Prenatal Peek for a 3D ultrasound. These are just a few of the pictures. We didn't tell them that we knew it was a boy. We wanted to see if they would confirm. As you can see his little twig and berries are easy to make out. :) It was actually they first thing the technician saw because Sammy was sitting straight up. He was in a bad position for pictures and asleep. So she told me to walk around and go eat some ice cream and come back. When we walked out side there was a 711 next to a Del Taco. So I went and got a delicious Blue Rasberry Icee and ate some french fries. When we got back he had changed positions and was awake. At first he was tucked too high then he was tucked too low. It was so crazy to see his little face. He has chubby cheeks and a bunch of hair! The technician commented on his cute little nose and then said it looked like my nose. So she continued to make the dvd as the soundtrack of tear jerking songs played. We got a good shot of his heart and we heard it as well. He was sucking his thumb a lot and at one point we saw him holding onto his foot. The one shot of him sticking his hand to his mouth made the technician and I both go, "Aww!" Sam had to laugh at us. It was so awesome! I can't wait to meet him.

Follow Up

So these days I am feeling super pregnant. I am seven months along and have 80 days until my due date. Just in the past week things have just changed. I think it is because I took a flight by myself to Utah and then had to basically crawl in and out of Erica's little sports car. Then just the sight of me trying to use the air matress made Erica insist I use her bed. I really haven't gained that much but I feel like I have gained 50lbs. I started getting tired again but maybe that is because I can't seem to sleep through the night. Sam and I are still looking for a new place to live and we are soo running out of time. I am ready to get settled and start setting up the nursery. As for my goals...two out of three is pretty good right? :) I got caught up with my Spanish and have been reading the Book of Mormon. I never made it to the gym...shocker. Well, just a little update. Things are going well. Sam is enjoying his job. We are getting excited about the baby. My Mom and Erica are coming for a visit in October to help me set up the nursery. November the baby will come and family is coming to town for Thanksgiving then Christmas is right around the corner. I think 2010 will be here before I know it.

Goals

I kept thinking that once I stopped working I could finally do the things I wanted to. I would exercise everyday, practice my Spanish, read the Book of Mormon again, and I would set a schedule so I was organized. I have this opportunity to take a month or so off of work and my first week I did none of those things. I packed one day, I did laundry one day, went grocery shopping one day, paid bills, ran errands, and then Erica came for a visit. Don't get me wrong I got a lot done but now it is the middle of week two and I feel bored and lazy. So I am going to write down my goals and then I am going to report to my blog meaning myself and my few readers. Like I said when I was trying to quit drinking Coke, "Don't be surprised if absolutely nothing comes out of this." Actually, I told my friends not to be surprised if they saw me injecting Coke directly into my veins with a syringe but you get what I'm saying.

1. I want to read the entire Book of Mormon out loud (for the baby...well read it for myself but out loud so he can hear) before he is born in November. On the mission we read 5 pages a day and finished in 100 days. I have 94 days, roughly, until the baby is here. I think I can do it!

2. I want to practice my Spanish, at least on the five days Sam works during the week. I have to learn Spanish! I am sick of not being able to fully understand what is being said at my inlaws. Plus, I want little Sammy to be fluent. Today I sat with my Rosetta Stone and did all the reviews for Level One. I didn't forget much but when you don't practice it takes you longer to recall things. So I want to do a lesson a day and practice translating the Spanish children's books that we borrowed from Sam's Mom.

3. Sigh, I want to exercise. I am so not a fan of exercise but I really don't want to gain too much. Even though I am still overweight I am actually very happy with my size. On the hospital paperwork they labelled me as moderately obese and I was happy! LOL So I am going to try to join a gym and take a water aerobics class. The only exercise I ever stuck with was a water aerobics class. I went to two classes a day and I really liked it. Maybe because it was mostly old ladies and super fat ladies so it wasn't like I was trying to keep up with the skinny girl wearing make up on the next treadmill over. I'd love to say I would walk on Sam's treadmill...but I most likely won't. I would like to say I'd take Flojo for a walk...but I won't. I would really love to find some sort of pregnant girls exercise class and take that. We will see. Since this is the goal I am the least excited about it may take longer to get going.

Now next week I will let y'all know how it is going.

Frustrations at the grocery store

Frustration #1: For a few years now I have absolutely loved Dannons carb and sugar control yogurts. I drink at least one of the smoothies a day and usually eat one of the yogurts as well. As y'all know I am pretty picky and so when I find something I like I stick to it. I usually buy two or three of the smoothies and two or three of the yogurts. Unfortunately, the grocery store I shop at puts exactly three of each out every Saturday morning. If I make it to the store after 9:30am I can only buy one...if I am lucky!! It drives me insane to show up and find the spot empty.

Frustration #2: The fresh bread is also gone by 9:30am. So if I don't want bread that expires in 3 days I have to wake up at the crack of dawn and race past the ladies on the motorized carts!

Frustrations #3: Every week the grocery store sends out a flyer claiming it's lowest prices of the summer that will last three days only. There is seriously a sale every weekend but the items on sale change. Great! Sam and I love cereal for a snack. So when the name brand cereal goes on sale I usually get some. Frustration #3-A You usually have to buy four or some insane amount to get the deal. Frustration #3-B some items you need the coupons for and some you don't. Now if you forget your flyer they have stacks by the door. If I forget it bugs me that the cashier makes me walk all the way to the door to get the flyer.

Frustration #4: People that bring their whole herd to the store. I hate trying to maneuver around a woman that has four kids screaming at her to put stuff in the buggy. Maybe some people just have to and I understand when it is a couple little kids. In fact, I think it is precious and I remember going shopping with my dad. However, when one or more of them is old enough to stay home with the younger siblings I think that is best.

I know this may seem silly but I seriously missed Wal-mart today. Wal-mart always has what I want and their prices are always low or at least decent. None of the old ladies at Wal-mart have ever mistaken my cart for theirs while I was getting a frozen pizza and wondered off with my buggy! Ok I realize that could happen at Wal-mart. Still, if an old lady were to ever wander off with my buggy at Wal-mart it would have fresh bread and all my yogurts in it no matter the time of day.

Ok my rant is over but just a quick story. As I was walking back to get the fourth box of cereal I needed in order to get the sale price, I notice the Raisin Bran. Now, I have never...ever in my life liked Raisin Bran or had even the slightest desire to eat it. I found myself drooling and grabbing a box. In conclusion, I will be glad when I do not have to go shopping on Saturdays and when I am not craving things that I normal find disgusting! Please feel free to share your grocery store frustrations or any time you grab something you normally didn't like.

Hello Hello...I am at a place call Vertigo!

Bright and early Sunday morning I woke up to the sound of my poor Sam coughing. It sounded more like he was hacking up a lung so I jumped out of bed to get him a cough drop. It is my fault he is sick but I was starting to feel better. When I got to his side of the bed I practically fell into him. The room was spinning! I laid back down and stayed down the entire day. No church, just sleep. Around midnight I was ripped from sleep needing to throw up. I ate dinner at five so there was nothing in my stomach but my body kept right on trying! I can imagine all the lovely visuals you guys are getting. :) I haven't been that sick for...well as long as I can remember. I continued heaving until around seven am when I called my mother in law to take me to the doctor.

When we got to the ER they insisted on asking me a ton of questions before wheeling me over to labor and delivery. There they made me get in the hospital gown and strapped baby monitors on me for twenty minutes then asked me to get dressed again so they could wheel me back over to the ER. This whole time I am still throwing up all the time. When I get back to the ER they make me again put on a hospital gown, made me sign all these things, and asking all kinds of questions. They gave me something so I wouldn't throw up, hooked me up to an IV, and took blood. I have three monster bruises for proof. After I kept down two bites of a sandwich they tried to send me home. The nurse that wheeled me out brought me right back in telling them I shouldn't leave.

So I stayed over night and most of this hospital stay was a complete blurr since I kept my eyes closed and slept most of the time. I was awakened every so often to be annoyed with the same questions. The best were from the social worker. She asked me if I had previously taken care of myself and if I ever wanted to hurt myself. If I hadn't been feeling so terrible I would have smashed her head into the wall and screamed at the top of my lungs the following: "YES! I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! IN CASE THE OTHER TEN PEOPLE I SPOKE WITH DIDN'T TELL YOU I HAVE A JOB THAT I GO TO EVERY DAY. I AM A NORMAL 29 YEAR OLD. I HAVE A JOB, I DRIVE, I READ, AND I WRITE! THE ONLY PERSON I WANT TO HURT RIGHT NOW IS YOU FOR ASKING THESE DUMB QUESTIONS...AND MAYBE THE NURSE THAT PUT IN MY IV!"

It was the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced! On top of it I was in a room with this obnoxious lady who blared her tv so loud we couldn't watch tv. Sam and his Mom just had to sit there bored. We asked that she put in her headphones since she was alone and there were three of us but nope, she thought that was unfair. She also called for the nurse at least every half hour and repeated the things she thought were funny from whatever show she was watching. Sam tried to help me understand by reminding me she was on a lot of drugs but to that I said, "Well, they obviously don't have her on enough!"

Diagnosis-Vertigo or inflammation of the inner ear. I kept getting different answers. They cannot give me anything because of the baby so I have to wait it out. Here I am, a week and one day later. I feel ok. Moving very slow and feeling like I have on the wrong pair of glasses. I can't drive, I can't read for very long, I can't shower alone, and I need a spotter just to brush my teeth. I am in a really good mood about it today but I get really depressed and had a bit of a break down over the weekend. I am sure there is some lesson in patience I am supposed to be learning but it just feels pointless and completely inconvenient! Sigh...pray for me. :)

Dr. Rivera

This week was Sam's second week at work. His new sparkling white doctor coat came in. They put his name on the door. He is seeing his own patients. He can even treat pets outside of the hospital but "not for free" as he told his parents. We have those school loans to pay for. :)

It was amazing to see him graduate. It was wonderful to see him get dress for his first day at work. I love hearing all his stories when he comes home. I know I have a couple friends who have husbands in grad school or about to start grad school. I just want to say, hang in there!

Happy Father's Day

Erica and I were Daddy's girls no doubt about it! The three of us were best friends! I miss my Dad a lot and I wish that I saw him more often. He was a great dad! He could make me laugh until I pee...in fact I think years of being tourtured by "The Claw" is the reason I am still so ticklish! Whenever I would start to fan my eyes to keep from crying he would say, "Come here boo." I'd crawl over and just let it all out while he would rub my back. He wasn't afraid of getting puked on. Erica and I always would lay on his bed to talk. When he'd come in we'd scream and giggle and hid under the covers,even in our twenties, and he'd always pretend he was mashing lumps out of his bed. He watched New Kids on the Block videos and Nsync concerts with us and we've even catch him singing along some times. :) I always knew the stories he'd tell and the jokes he would make. He used to sing a song my Grandpa sang to him, "Once upon a time in a nursery rhyme, three little kids got lost." When we'd ask him to finish he always said, "I can't, that's all my dad knew." LOL

Now with Sam's first Father's day I wanted to do something special, that he'd never forget. So I scheduled an appointment at this special ultrasound place to find out the sex of the baby. We were planning on going for their 3D ultrasound when I was further along anyway. So when I consulted my Dr....Meghan, she said she was worried he might want to be there so I text some of my guy friends. They all agreed they would want to be there. After talking it through I decided on having the doctor write the sex in an envelope and letting Sam tell me. Sam went off to the library to study and I drove all the way to Newport and got the ultrasound. The baby was being shy always turning away from the camera and crossing it's legs. After she made the ultrasound DVD she tried again to find the sex. She made me walk around, lay on my right side, jiggled my belly, lay on my left side. Finally, she got a good shot and she then verified from a few different angles.

I drove home and picked up a few things to put in with my surprize. Sam of course knew I'd give it to him right away so he was ready for it. When he got to the bottom I had wrapped the packet from the doctor. I said, "Before you open this I want to explain." I told him what I had done and that the envelope contained the baby's sex. His face light up and I have never seen him so excited! It was great and I watched as he went through it. "Ok here's a CD, here's an ad, a picture, a.....AHHHHHHHH!" He was yelling so much and I was like, "What?! What is it?!" "A son, we're having a son!" I started bawling because I had never seen him so happy! It was the best and then we watched the ultrasound DVD. It was one of the best days of my life! It was such a perfect moment and I will never forget it!




His name will be Samuel James Rivera. James is my Dad's middle name. We are thrilled! My mom has to return all the girl clothes she already got. :) I am on my way to Babies 'R' Us to pick out stuff for my baby boy on the way!

Cabin Fever or Murder Plot

I have told a few of you about Sam's crazy study schedule this year and how the time away from school tends to send him off the deep end. Well, last time it actually sent him to the dollar store to buy loads of random crap. ie A variety of medications, alarms for the doors, lasers to annoy the bird, and the plastic cone on my desk that says "Excellent Work"!

Today I get a text that he had gotten four pairs of jeans, a pair of shorts, a dvd for our nephew, and a video game for $40. Where? At Goodwill. All day I wondered why he would randomly go to Good Will. Cleaning out the closet...no way. Then it hit me, his cabin fever is back! He is taking a month off to study for his CA medical test and rest from school before he starts work. Well, at least it's clothes and not more junk. No big deal.

When I came home there was a strange feeling in the air and I walked further into the kitchen trying to figure out what was amiss. I saw power tools and the tv area was all moved around. I saw what is pictured above. What in the heck is that? I went up stairs, more power tools, more trash. Then Sam explained. Today was the switch to digital so when he tried it out channel seven (The channel the NBA Finals are on) didn't come in. With a crazy look in his eye he told me how he researched antennas on the Internet and found a video showing how to build one of wire hangers. We didn't have any wired hangers so that is why he went to Good Will. When he asked the cashier for hangers he saw a "Jeans for $5." And know you know...the rest of the story. So what do you think? Should I get him out of the house or just stay on his good side?

PS That instrument of death is now on our mantel between the two pictures we displayed at our reception. I am sure you ladies can imagine the look I gave him when he put in there. Just a few more weeks until he's working.

Jacaranda Trees

I never paid much attention to trees until I went to Utah on my mission and there was a severe lack of trees compared to North Carolina. I was not used to the open spaces. I used to tell people that in North Carolina you could see until the trees started. Anyway, now I always pay attention to the trees around me. I am in California so I mostly see Palm trees which have to be one of the ugliest trees on earth! They look like toilet bowl brushes!! Also in California are the trees like the picture above. This is the Jacaranda tree and it is now one of my favorite trees.

The few streets I take to work and around town are all dirty and have trash on them. There is graffiti but not much natural color. During my drive I see these Jacaranda trees and they totally brighten my day! Remember the black and white movie Pleasantville? Things started turning colors so they really stood out. That is how these trees are for me. It's flowers are bluish purple and look like little bells. I love that when I come out of work the entryway has these bells scattered all over it. I love that they are all over the ground around the trees. They stand out as if everything else was black and white. They make me happy and make me think of silly fairy tale things and happily ever afters.

Music

I am not too much of a music person. Erica sends me CDs which she titles, "Keeping you in the know." They are all great and some of them I end up only hearing on the radio years after Erica has already introduced it to me. I pretty much consider her an authority on good music. I make sure I program any country station I can find so I won't forget my roots. I sent Erica the country version of "Keeping you in the know." Anyways, I am not in anyway an expert. There are people in this world who are and they find the perfect songs to put behind an emotional scene. They can make a love scene more romantic and an action scene more...action-y. lol Of course they can make a sad scene rip your insides out. This song is currently breaking my heart.

In the Deep by Bird York
Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning...
And now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the deep...

Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...

One down!

I love how 90% of our pictures look exactly the same! LOL Our first anniversary came at a really hectic time. Sam was graduating and Nano was going into the MTC. It was fun though and we got to spend about a week and a half with our family. Erica, my Mom, and Ray came to California for Sam's graduation which was fun. My Mom got Sam some Lakers gear and me some more maturnity clothes. At least Erica was with her this time so they weren't all horrendous. :) We had fun with Erica here and then we took a road tip to Utah.

Taking Nano to the MTC was weird. I remembered how I felt with my dear friends standing in as my family. While I was there I was so determined to be the perfect missionary. Looking back on my mission that is why I told Nano, "The tag doesn't make you perfect." In the end it was one of the hardest and best things I have ever done. Other than the MTC we got to hang out with Erica more and visit with our new neice, Samantha. She was so sweet and it made me ready for these months to start flying. I know they won't though. It was fun being around a nephew and nieces, it made me really excited.

When we came home we had plans for a big date to celebrate our anniversary, the first one is pretty important! Unfortunately Sam got very sick and we decided to just hang out at our house and watch movies which was so much fun. Sunday we went to over to visit with Sam's family and eat our year old cake. I thought it tasted really good for being a year old. This first year went by really fast and life doesn't seem to have any signs of slowing. I guess I would have to sum it up as hard but wonderful! It is hard adjusting to living with someone new, learning to pay bills (first time for me), compromising and not always getting my way. It was so hard but it was wonderful doing all those things with Sam. He is perfect for me and I can't imagine my life without him. I look back on other guys I dated or ones I prayed I would end up with. Wow! Thank the good Lord for ignoring me!

Most of the time we are together it is like two little kids who are the best of friends. We play, laugh, tease, tickle, and cuddle. I will end with my favorite Sam quote. We went to the park in Orem one time and he said, "Let's go sit on that bench over there and be mushy." LOL I love him!

Silly Super Sam is a doctor?!?!

This weekend was Sam's big day! The day he's been waiting for as long as he can remember. He has been in school for 25 years and he is finally finished. Friday he graduated as a doctor of veterinarian medicine. It was a very emotional day for me. He has sacrificed so much to get himself to this point and I am so very proud of him. The ceremony was so beautiful! They told the history of the school and what it stands for. "The discipline of learning. The art of caring." The speakers were all very moving and I was amazed that I didn't burst into tears. They talked about the humane treatment of animals and the affect animal life has on the world. Sometimes I would think to myself that Sam was too humane! :) The way he lets our bird fly around the house so she can get exercise or the time he told me he prayed for the health of his fish. I used to think it was silly but when I see Sam study or interact with animals I know I have never met anyone with such compassion.

We talk a lot about the differences between animal and human medicine. He once joked that he would love to have a patient that could tell him where it hurts. I can't imagine having to know how to fix even one species of animal let alone the number that he has learned about. The alumni speaker talked about a few of the things that happened her first day including two patients that were hit by cars and a three pound Chihuahua needing a c-section. The school is set up so that the students spend their last two years working in different labs, clinics, and hospitals working side by side with doctors. Sam had a few experiences where he knew something that some of the young doctors he worked with didn't. They are prepared but I am sure it is still very scary.

Anyway, the time arrived and I heard them say his name, "Doctor Samuel Rivera." I was trying to hold back tears, cheer, and take pictures. I watched him kneel so his parents could put his hood on. He was smiling so big and I just wanted to hug him! Here he is, a doctor! The boy who dances around my house when the Lakers win. The guy who makes up songs and watches The Simpsons everyday. Silly Super Sam is a doctor!

Freedom of Speech...only if you agree with us!

When I was scanning the news websites this morning I saw the headlines about Miss California. During the contest a celebrity judge, Perez Hilton, asked her, "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?"

She answered, "I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be between a man and a woman."

Now it definitely could have been worded better but I admire her for saying it. The Perez lashed out on his web site calling her names and so on. I saw all the comments and I decided to read them even though I am not sure why. I was surprised to see that the majority of the comments were in support of Miss California. They were in support of her right to have her own opinion and the freedom to express that opinion. Shocker! What an old fashioned idea! Once again there are those people out there screaming day and night for tolerance when they have no intention having the same respect for anyone who doesn't believe like they do. Good for you Miss California!

PS Miss North Carolina won! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Blueberry baby

Well, I am eight weeks pregnant. According to my book the baby is the size of a blueberry. Here's a little insight into my day. I think most of you that read this have either gone through this or had a friend or wife go through it. This blog is merely to document for myself and perhaps get a little sympathy and pep talks!

I wake up in the morning feeling exhausted and nauseous. Toothpaste makes me sick. I cannot eat anything until I drink a little sprite. Then whatever I eat immediately makes me feel sick so I can only eat a little bit of whatever it is. A few hours later I start feeling weak and nauseous because I haven't really eaten anything. This usually makes me get extremely hot and my skin starts to get clamy. I usually fight that with a cold wet rag on my forehead. After ten minutes I usually get so cold my skin aches and I have to use a space heater for the next few hours. I get down a little lunch and feel sick for the rest of the afternoon. I am so tired all day that my eyes burn so I take a nap after work and wake up when Sam gets home. I make and eat some dinner and feel sick again. I drink some sprite in order to calm my stomach enough to take my vitamins and then I toss and turn all night. People keep telling me it is just for the first trimister, I sure hope so. :(

"One day maybe we'll find that baby makes three"

I am pregnant! I can't believe this! Sam and I have decided to start our family. He's almost done with school so the timing is perfect. Thanks to Meghan's advice I bought an ovulation test kit and also some pregnancy tests. I googled how to get pregnant. I mean...I had an idea but I was wondering if there was any tips I should know about. I stopped taking birth control in February and was supposed to start my period around March 14th. Today, on the 15th, I hadn't started so I took a test. Results come in 3 minutes but after 10 seconds there was a big purple plus sign. For some reason I thought that meant not pregnant so I started to cry and climbed back into bed. I told Sam it was negative and he pulled me closed and I just started bawling. I really believed that I was pregnant. I was so heartbroken. Sam reminded me that we read it usually takes 3 months to get pregnant after getting off birth control. I cried and cried while Sam assured me that we'd have a baby soon.
After I had calmed down Sam got up to go to the bathroom. I'm still hurting when Sam says, "Babe, I think you are pregnant." I got up and realized that the big purple plus meant pregnant! Sam hugged me so tight and we both cried. :) I still can't believe it. I took another one after breakfast and and another one Monday morning. All three came out positive too. It was one of the best days of my life! We took pictures of the tests and with the tests. I peaked at them everytime I walked past and I saw Sam doing the same. :)

Today my doctor confirmed is and I had my first ultrasound. We couldn't see anything but I am about five weeks along. Our due date is November 21st. That fits right in with Sam, Meghan, and Erica's birthdays. Three of my favorite people!

Technology Challenged

This laptop is lucky I don't own a gun...yet!

Rage versus energy

So I have this co worker that drives me up the wall. We no longer work together and I am glad. I will liken her unto that chic I worked with at TGN who pouted in a similar fashion but was always put in her place. Oh how I enjoyed that! This current chic annoys me several times a day, every day and there is nothing I can do about it. Today I emailed a simple question and got a snotty comment back that put me into a fiery rage! I responded, telling her exactly what I thought about her snotty comment and CC my boss because of course she'd send it to him. Y'all know I have quite a temper. :) I sat there ready to click send then I sat back and looked at the ceiling. I asked myself if this was worth the write up that my boss would have to give me for obvious inappropriate behavior.

Oh yes!!! It was not only worth the write up but it was worth the "I'm disappointed in you speech" that would have come with it.

I decided not to send it because of the energy it would take to fight with her. My dad once told me that everyone needs their butt kicked once in awhile to keep em in check and she is due for hers! So to conclude I'd like my girl Lynds to be ready with the bail money incase this chic catches me on a day when I've had my full eight hours!

2008

What can I say, it was a great year! I started out the year living in Utah with Erica. I had a job that I loved, super awesome friends, and an amazing boyfriend. I saw some friends get married and some having babies. Watched the Tarheels have an awesome year then get crushed in the final four. I found some old friends, planned to attend my high school reunion and then decided to skip it. I lost a friend. I moved to California and couldn't bare to say goodbye to certain friends. I got a new last name and a license with a decent picture. I missed my sister everyday and became even more homesick for the south! Realized California is even worse than I thought. I found the people here are pretty much like Texans but way harder to understand because they love California. I got a new job in a business I would have never thought I'd work in. I even improved my fake laugh!

I have set a few resolutions like learning Spanish and having FHE every week. I am still trying to get all these wifey jobs down pat. I need to set a schedule so I can get everything done that I need to. I want to keep in touch better with the people that matter to me. For the past few years I have honestly thought that I have been a better person with each "Happy New Year" I shouted so I hope to keep going that way. The funny thing is that most of my dearest friends lived around me when I was the worst I've ever been. Now that I feel like I am a half way decent person y'all live so far away. I never thought I'd end up so far from home. I guess the adventure continues!!