Well, I have made it through week one without my Sammy. It was pretty much the longest week of my life! I have tried to keep busy but that is hard. It is so hot that I don't want to do anything except go swimming. I have had Gracie (Sam's sister) over to swim and gone to Riverside to hang out with his family. However, when the sun goes down it is always the same, panic sets in.
My thoughts go wild! "What if some robbers know that my husband is gone?" That thought makes me run around turning on all the lights. "What if it looks obvious that I'm alone because I've turned on all the lights?" That thought makes me run around and turn off the bathroom lights. "What would I do if someone broke in?"After that thought I imagine jumping out the bedroom window. "If I scream, will anyone hear me?" Of course, I have a big mouth! "Should I put something in front of the door?" Now that is just ridiculous Jean. If I call 911 will it be the police here or in NC? (I still have my NC number) In the middle of this insane conversation I have with myself our dog Flojo usually barks. "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!" At this point I usually complain to myself about how my dad should never have let me watch Rescue 911, Unsolved Mysteries, and America's Most Wanted as a kid. This is why I am so paranoid! Well, that and all the bad movies I've seen. So every night when the sun goes down I turn on all the lights and unlock and re lock every door. Sam is at an emergency clinic so he gets off at midnight. When he calls I run all over the house and turn off all the lights after unlocking and re locking every door again. Then I run upstairs with Flojo, lock the bedroom door, and jump under the covers! Sam and I read our scriptures, pray, and then sleep on the phone. We did this every night after we got serious. Now as I am trying to fall asleep I imagine how I will be able to yell out to Sam that I love him as I am being strangled by the robber. I toss and turn all night, waking up at every noise, and try to spot a robber with the glow of my cell phone light. This lasts until the sun comes up when I am able to sleep. I guess I should admit that I live in a gated community and that there are houses on all sides of me. I should feel safe but I don't. And I won't feel safe until I am snuggled up beside my strong, weight lifting, Tae Kwon Do knowing, Mexican (so he's scarier than a white guy) husband!
5 comments:
FAbulous blog as always Jean!! I don't know how you are doing it!! I was once away from Ryan for a week and it was sooooo hard!! I can't even imagine being a newlywed, and then living in a place where you don't know anyone...EEEK!!! YOu could always get an alarm system?? And I think it's sweet that you and Sam still sleep on the phone together!! Miss you!!
I knew there was a reason we were best friends. I can admit when Garran works overnights, I boobie trap the house, I put alarms on our windows, and I hide some sort of weapon by my bed. I also keep both my house phone and my cell phone next to the bed. The cell phone just in case they cut the house phone lines.. Umm did we watch americas most wanted together? HAHAHAH
LOL!! And you want to see The Strangers?? LOL!!
oh jean, i miss you so much. this blog really made me cry for you. i read it to all the girls and we were crying with laughter in the end. We love you and we miss you. hang in there sweetie.
Do you remember when you thought there was someone in your dad's room and you turned in there and let out the biggest scream and I ran outside like a sissy? Yeah, you have always been paranoid about stuff. I still can't sleep by myself and usually have to turn the light on. Maybe thats why I have so many guns ready.
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